I Killed Him?????

Not a Disclaimer : I don’t care if the contents sounds “Unpatriotic” or against the greatest leaders and freedom fighters of our country. May be I am prejudiced towards just those 3 revolutionaries (who were literally slapped on their face by being labeled as TERRORISTS).

I don’t give a darn thought,even though I know I am writing out of pure impulse,a practice which any writer should avoid.

I am not even bothered if what I say sounds controversial or something.

This “I” is just me though the first title which came to my mind was, "We Killed Him"(notice there was no question mark),I changed it to a question when it came on me,huh,what a selfish,self-centered approach ,you say??But I am ready to take the blame,I will remove the question mark when everyone of us answers the question fair and square.

Sep’28,1907 : Birthdate of Shahid Baghat Singh

March’23,1931 : Shahid Baghat Singh,Rajguru and Sukhdev hanged till death,found guilty for murder of officer Sounders and attack on parliament.

Some date probably in Feb’1931 : Shahid Baghat Singh,Rajguru and Sukhdev murdered by the senior “freedom fighters” of this nation.(Come on,how dare these young guys ask for complete independence when dominion status is being achieved)

Sounds absurd? Yes it does,but as usual most of the absurd sounding things are unfortunately true,so is this one.

Allow me to explain.Remember the meeting between Gandhi and lord Irvin (the vicory then),when the “father of nation” was supposed to give back his country its sons ,Shahid Baghat Singh,Rajguru and Sukhdev snatching them from the clutches of British government.But he faltered,he didn’t stood up for what was right (alright,probably what I and some millions odd thought at that time),he traded the Karachi visit to get another small piece of “freedom of India” and he probably forgot ,the 3 sons of motherland.

I am still not clear what the exact truth was but probably the dominion status was too big a bargain to be lost in lieu of lives of just 3 guys and along with them men and women who had only one aim “A Secular, Republic, Socialist India,a country where the sanctity of life,effort and humanity were to be respected. Who were sick and tired of following a pretense of being independent when they were not.Who couldn’t stand the path of blind following and submissiveness.Who didn’t believe that imperialism and exploitation can be in harmony with “Peace and Independence”.And who believed only in one state for their nation “Sampoorna Swadesh”(Complete Independence).

I don’t think I am in control anymore of what I am writing,losing the coherence of my thought flow,getting cynical of the great ones whom the country regards as the ones who got us independence( I said I was getting cynical,add sarcastic to the list too),but I just can’t seem to help it.These “Who” are literally trying to gush out of my heart and mind.It’s both stifling and relieving.Probably these are not just words any more.It’s just plain anguish,something which is new to me.

Infact I just now realized why am I writing like this, why am I holding the “father of nation” and lot others responsible for Shahid Baghat Singh,Rajguru and Sukhdev’s murder(it was a murder alright).It’s because I just want to escape out of this anonymous guilt which clings with me because of the kind of “Independent India” I am living in.It’s because I feel weak and vulnerable,and its because my blood which unlike those 3 which woke up millions of suppressed,oppressed Indians to set right what was wrong pre-independence is not even capable of making me stand as an individual for what’s right.

Or probably because I am forced into thinking again, what would have I done if I was in Gandhi’s position in front of Irvin.I am trying to tell my self,would they have lived and fought on to see the India of their dreams.

Or I too in anyway responsible for murdering Shahid Baghat Singh,Rajguru and Sukhdev?Probably an allusion to what the leaders of the pre independence era did,but haven’t I inherited their sense of weakness and ignorance??Did I kill him??