Government buys IPL team

No they have not.

Just some loud title to catch attention.

But what if they did?

Well I had lot of questions and I decided to pen them.

What if Government of India buys a team in IPL
The following would be my guess :

1) Team name

Believe me, its going to be a huge huge problem.
Obviously they cannot be seen partial to a state or region.
My take on the name?
“AkhilBhartiyaSvatantraSanyuktaDemocraticSecularABitLeftistSocialites”
[All India Independent United ]

2) Team manager

Apart from the PMO (Primeministers office) responsible
for press releases we shall have 28 state team managers ( team of empowered
cheif ministers) plus Honourable Prime minister of India.Total 29.

3) How would the team be financed

That’s sort of obvious isnt it?
Government Bonds (Low yield , high security, maturity period - Infinity)

4) Coach

Same as point 2.No foreign coaches for sure.
i) Minimum age : 60 years (Experience does count)
ii) Should be a polyglot (Fluency in all languages and dialects)
iii) Should have experience in one of the sport listed under official sports list,section A,sub section 2.

5) Team composition

Wont be an all men team.
How dare you?Such chauvinism has no place here.
33% reservation for women,afterall the bill is passed in parliament.
Exception clause : Husbands can come in to bat/field/bowl,but only if ladies agree.

6) Exit strategy

What if the team does not perform well?
That’s simple too.Stick to them for a few seasons, cost tax payers crores of rupees
and then “DISINVEST”.
Send bottom 4 performers to private players who would groom them and we would all be
praising private sectors role in making the country better.

7) Advertisement

Only public service adverts,namely,Sarva Siksha Abhiyan,National Polio mission,
National rural employment gurantee scheme, and probably the likes of Indian oil,Bharat Petroleum,SAIL,Air India and Indian Airlines (They all are public enterprises too)

Cheer girls

You got to be kidding me.Hey,thats not a part of Indian culture okay!!!

9) Guidelines for spectators

Support only country, not state , indirectly only support goes for
“AkhilBhartiyaSvatantraSanyuktaDemocraticSecularABitLeftistSocialites”

10)Player selection

Very important factor.The initial pool of 5000 canditates shall be selected.
After that it would completely be a democratic process.They have to contest elections,pick up their
ballot signs,make speeches and woo the junta with false promises of making runs,taking wickets and winning matches.

11) Foreign Players

Yeah rite!!!!Dream on.However Foreign Direct investments are welcome, subject to tortuous rules and regulations

Thats all I could think of for now.