A fitting problem…

Now, its not a technical problem or a logical problem I was stuck in.
Nor is it a work-life balance problem. (I don’t have a life…so there)

It is literally a fitting problem.
That is, me not fitting in.
And if you are still blinking, that implies you don’t follow me any who and

have not read an old post ,And I got dumped.

But me being the nice guy shall bring about the events that you would be able to

visualize them unfolding in front of your eyes.

(Which,my friend, is not going to be a pleasant sight)

Now this incident/accident/embarrassment/humiliation took place in a mall,
yes,a shopping mall.
And you thought this only happens in “detainment facilities being run by the US of A”.

Being short on the stock of humanly wearable clothes to a formal occasion,
I confronted my horrors and went to this brand factory thing.

A gentleman (ya rite) who was not interested in helping me,or anybody else for that matter,
happened to stand next to the stock pile of trousers which I was scavenging through.

And looking at me (not with the best of motives,if I must add) asked as to what size was I looking for.
That is why I said “not with the best of motives”…

Ammm,Ummm,Ahem, 3_ ,pls( yeah, and you thought I was going to reveal the magic number to you,right!) .

Now I don’t know why, but his eyes twinkled, and I did see him suppressing a devilish grin.

Are you sure Sir?Its 3_ and not 3_+4,3_+6 or…

Boy you should have seen my face,darn menacing I must say,as he immediately corrected himself,
handed me the pair and off I went to the trial room.

Now,I would not dream of subjecting you to,you know,the details,but here is the metaphor which would say it all.

Hmmm…have you ever seen a baby elephant in a changing room,okay,that’s not much of a metaphor rite.
Let me try again…
Hmmm…ever seen a hippo in a changing room,okay,this doesn’t seem to work eiiiiitttthhheeerr…

Okay,dump it,guys,I am sure you get the picture(Awww,stop pretending…),and gals,pardon me,I am just not articulate enough.

Long story short,thing didn’t fit me,and just in nick of time before the pair would have strangulated me,I handed it back to the dude.

And he is like,Aaaaaa,sorry sir,I think there has been some mistake.
Even though the label says 3_, I am sure it 3_ -2.

Now let me try again and metaphorise as to how angry I was.

Well…have you ever seen a baby elephant really angry,or a hippo for that matter?
And yes,its a correct metaphor and I refuse to take it back.
If you are still not convinced,try giving a wrong sized pair of trousers to a baby elephant,
and tell him that it was couple of inches less than what he asked for.

Eventually,yes,the next thing,proper 3* fitted me,there by giving me some sort of solace that
my rate of explosion is pretty much as that of the melting rate of glaciers (not as per IPCC,I meant a correct report) ie,slow,sorta controllable.

As happy I was then,I decided not to sue the guy,and entered the KFC as soon as I left the place
Well,to celebrate,Hmmmm….since I was really happy,as happy as…
See,you guys expected a metaphor there…Gotcha…

But enough of my spherical plight,I intend to take all the “possible” steps to put and end to this.
How?
Wait and Watch..Okay dont wait,but do watch when I tell you to.

Later…