Most of the posts,infact all of my posts carry an intaglio.A bit ornate(obscenely long sentences),mostly (sometimes downright) depressing ( sorry sue,for those I think modes) and self centered(yes, its all about me,but I have reasons for that).
Anywho,I can't claim this post will be any different(except for the fact that I have tried formatting it),or anything groundbreaking,but for the first time I am writing, not as a means to vent out thingswhich i tend to clam up till they start choking me.This post comes from a smile,smile from Deepak (a lamp literally,noun otherwise).
Oh common…u got to ask who is Deepak!!How else could i go about it?
Thanks,glad you asked.
Hmmmm,what should I tell you about Deepak.
I am asking this because your answer could actually save me from rolling down that slippary slope again.
The one i always take whenever i write.
Darn everything and anything becomes about me.My weakness,my negativity,my hopes,my despair,my this,my that…
Yeah,concieted me.
Tic Tic 1
Tic Tic 2
Tic Tic 3…
Time's up!!!!
No response,and here i go on the same track.I take everything from Deepak's life and make it an anecdote for
my life.
Well yeah,i am an incorrigible case…
This is a typical script of how it goes between BWSS( whom I would like to call the hero/protagonist,which by the way he is not)
Deepak (who,is the protagonist,which my hubris does not allow me to call),and the villian,ha ha ha (he wont do that in the play,i swear)
and I wont reveal his identity (gosh I am getting good at this,aint I)
Script is kinda muddled up though,with the actions and the dialogues interwined.
BWSS: Gets up at 6 30 to take an onsite call (no , I am not kidding)
He is already fretting about the day which has not even started.
(No dialogues here,he just listens,this time)
Deepak : Is already clearing up the small resturant where BWSS goes to get caffine shot
Now thats crazy,he is SMILING.Infact,its irritating.
BWSS : Frets more,more like whole time hez at work.He thinks of all the things in the
world he has missed.The missed opportunities,those goof ups and the usual stuff.
And all this,while working,diligently,I must say 
BWSS (again) : Bit more of looking down upon himself,disparaging even more,straining and
just coming back in the nick of time before doing some permanent damage.
(He has reached a bloody acme in performing this feat)
BWSS the dissatified,the disgruntled,the sulky, does that daily.
Oh ya,we kinda missed out on what Deepak is upto (Well i warned you,everything becomes about me after a while,moreover its not a movie,
cant capture paralles in same frame,so cut me some slack)
Deepak : Mean while Deepak is there in that small resturant,handling work of like 2-3 adults(ones who work).
(If you have not guessed so till now,he is a kid) is still smiling and working through,
cleaning the place,picking up the plates,cleaning them and what the heck,he is still
SMILING!!!
BWSS : (back from office,back to caffine) of course ruminating what had gone right,and what
went wrong ,and how he has not met his expectations and all.
Believe me,his face is a myraid of expression sans one.
(enters cliche,no prizes for guessing what expression)
BWSS : That kids face lits up like anything,we kinda share a bond by now,you know,the smiling and the sulky.
But he has done something unpardonable.
He has made BWSS smile.
How could he ?
"How could he just walk in my zone
(I have a huge board,on my face which reads,trespassers will be greeted with a sulk)
"Can he encroach upon like that?"
"Is he allowed to?"Don't we have a law or something banning it?
"Where are the laws when you need one?"
Oh that smile,enticing but yet so darn innocent.
But thats not all.
He did what nobody even did to Ebenezer Scrooge(meet our would be villian)
"He talked to me "
Deepak : "Hi Bhaiya,kaise hein?(Hey bro,wassup)"
BWSS : Lost for words,shell shocked,dizzy and hate to say this,a bit emotional.
Euphemismistic way of saying,he didnt utter a word.Goes on looking at him.
Deepak : As if taking a cue from the response,about to turn back ( mind you,that smile was still there )
BWSS : SMILES!!!!!
(Thinking) What!!You have got to be kidding me…
Enters the villian, the Scrooge in BWSS,all furious and harrying him…
Scrooge : "You,you,moron,you doof,did you realize what you did just now???"
(By now gasping for breath) You smiled,you let your gaurd down,and for what,a smillleee
(tries unsuccessfully to render a barney stinson effect when he says "aweeeesooome"
BWSS : A bit embarrassed now,trying to salvage and mollify Scrooge
"Hey,just a smile right,we can manage this much damage,I mean,I mean"
Tries to mask his apparently beatific smile with a broody visage.
But to no avail,he has lost it,the smile has become even more prominent on his face
(Sigh,cant exclaim it looks any better though)
Deepak : Thake hue lagte hein (You look kinda tierd).
BWSS : Inspite of Scrooge's fury
"Yeah,a bit,work :)",smile persists through this long dialogue.
Deepak : With a troubled expression
"Catch some sleep na?"
BWSS : Smile stays "Kay,will do that"
Hesitates but musters " Naam kya hai apka (whats your name)"
Deepak : Deepak.
Suddenly everything turns bleak
Scrooge is in charge again
Scrooge : " Oh stop it you sissy,stop stuttering and smiling,dont you see what have you done?
You let your gaurd down!!!!
You,you actually let yourself feel,feel good over that.You are not supposed to do that,remeber?
You are a troubled soul,looking for answers,you cant be happy!!! "
BWSS : Suddenly shocked,or lets say,suddenly reshocked,he was already shocked,remember?
"What did you say?"
"A guard?"
" No smile?"
"Cant feel happy?"
"Troubled?"
Scrooge : "Stop talking in mono syllables you ninny."
Smiles ( more like a evilish grin )
"You dont realize what you have become do you?"(grin widens)
"Its these walls you have created,you are my dear fella,caged."
"Caged,within the confines of self inflicted pain."
"And in these walls,I am all that you have."
(Need a witty dialogue here,its turning out to be a monotone)
"I am your metallica thinge,"Sad but true thing""
(OMG,is that all you could muster up,i mean this is witty!!!Dang)
"The only emotion you have now with you is of guilt,guilt which
does not let you smile,which does not lets you feel that you deserve it."
(I guess thats more than enuf,this guy is irritating)
Deepak : On the center stage,with all lights and all on him.
"Its okay bhaiya,I am here" ( its gonna be all in english now)
BWSS thought he was just talking to him,but he chose to talk to all you guys.
(Got to accede,this kid is a star material )
"Its alright,alright to feel,to feel good.
To feel happy,without any reason,to just let yourself be quixotic,dreamy."
"To do things which you always thought you will deserve only when you achieve
something,do them today,do them now."
"You just dont hurt yourself when you devoid yourself off that smile,you hurt
lot many others who would like to see you smile."
"And please for god sake,stop feeling that your problems are the worst among
everyone around you,because you are grossly mistaken."
They are all at the same level,for each one of us.
So stop living in a pretense that sacrificing yourself on the altar of "finding
a purpose of life" means chocking that smile from your face.
Shouts out loud,exhilarated
"I refuse to accept guilt as the fact of my existence,and so should you"
And you know what,you will never see me deviod of the only emotion which keeps reminding
me "I Am",my SMILE!!!
Curtains fall……….
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