To be or not to be

Most of my work is pretty derivative.
Sans originality, a fancy by product of the closest most easily available, comfortable anecdote,harsh truth and pain that I can find in vicinity.

Themes are pretty much same too. Discontent, expectation and so called pain on the status quo that plagues my existence in general.

But reading something today stirred it slightly more than I usually let on.
Hence a few lines.

Hopefully I don't forget what they are screaming to tell me today as I write under a stupor.

To be or not to be was never a question, never a stumbling block,
Always to be imagined how it would be , the shining victory hop,
Never to be,the tortuous route, the treacherous  terrains,
Fears to sleep with, holding the smiles, amidst the pains.

For the dreams were to be too certain, and not to be insane,
The path , oh so cured, no disagreements,just embellished with fame,
Lights were to be bright, with the halo of success behind,
My trophy just in sight, up for grabs , the laurels set, lined.

And that is how it was to be, or not to be ever,
For the journey is going to be a fucked up, harsh, severe.
Not to be were the questions, the self doubt , the loathe
The naysayer guard of my dreams satisfied, as I twitch,back and forth.

For it knows, that the itch was to be temporary,easy
No driving force, lulled to sleep again, settled, cozy,
Could I break the shell, run the full mile, and miles over?
Or will I die, regret ,the could be, would haves and the never.