The post deals with a very serious issue of KPGK syndrome
that the writer is in grips of
a considerable duration now [ Khate peete ghar ka ].The
condition is also known as
big fat bum.
The writer is a self proclaimed expert [ read , Dare to to
beyond the normal waist ] on the
syndrome and has massive experience of sitting on his ass
and twiddling his thumbs ( read as knowledge worker or an intellectual thinker
if you please ) for prolonged duration.
9 years of massive inactivity in BE-IT company-MBA stint has
given him unique perspective in this human/hippo condition.
He has an impressive number of unused gym subscriptions and
has been actively involved in fighting against
( by breaking couches,beds etc ) against the stipma of being
horizontally endowed.
He has also actively avoided any kind of hunger
strike,travel or any other kind of motion and
has been under continuous threats by family members and the
external world alike.
He is extremely touchy on the subject and prefers to be
called "Reasonably healthy (RH)"
Instead of motu/golu/gappu and other assorted Indian names.
He has been a great source of motivation for a number of
movements ( not involving motion ) in different countries.
It is recommended that you address him as RH when you are
past the initial shock of looking at this marvel of nature. Extremely sentimental,
he chose "Death ( by chocolate )" when forced by his parents to turn
green.
"Brown over green!!!! Always"
Enough of footage about the writer.But this is indeed a sad
sad account of tribulations that I have faced and had to be shared with my
friends in cyber space....
"Ab lag raha hai
mohit MBA ho gaya
My uncle exclaimed as I failed miserably in the Jehadi
mission of touching his feet.
What does that even mean?? An average bloke could think of a
number of reasons.
But a guy crossing the 36 inches waist barrier and looking
at compounded growth deciphers the innuendo.
For a normal person it could mean...
1) Delhi
2) MBA has added a halo at the back of my head.
But talk to someone with RH and he sees right through it.
It is an euphemism for "You are way beyond your clothes
mate!"
Thats euphemism 101 for a RH guy.
But for the not so initiated RH guys and gals ( yes,it
happens to everyone )
these are a few pointers. After these magical sentences,
just awkwardly sit in
a corner and avoid the greasy starters etc.
1) Ab thoda healthy
ho gaya
2) Bas ab thod gym
vym start kar sakte hein hum . GRIN
3) Mess mein khana
acha milta hoga bacche ko
4) And the best of
all - Padai karne wale bacche ho jate hein aise,thode se.
Such cruel ways for telling us what we know and experience
daily.
To all :
We ( the community of RH ) do know and are more than aware
of inflationary increase in our waist etc.Our clothes tell this daily as they continuously
act like our Mamta di and threaten to take back the support at all the wrong
times.
We know that our friends squirm and wiggle when we suggest
to do a triples on a bike or sit on someone’s lap in a crowded car/auto.
And we know that 30,32,34 are not real numbers anymore,they
are IMAGINARY!!
To all my RH friends out there...
Ekla chalo re...no seriously,I mean it,our roads/bikes/buses
anyways cant handle 2 RH at the same time.
Tumbling and rolling we march on...
To a world with kababs,rice and so on...
No judgement,discrimination,just peace and food...
For that is what makes us human, may sound crude..
But its true, for the last famished person took that gun,
Lets feed ( us and others ),smile, and probably world would
be a little more fun...
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