Squatting....Does it hurt?

We like sitting.

There.

This was the single most important philosophical anecdote you will ever get.
Yes. Thanks to me.

This would be your torch light in India. Whether you are up against a bureaucracy,
a corporation,a babu,a boss anyone. We all like to sit.

Another piece of this anecdote is this.

We like squatting.

[For those of you who have a warped mind and have thought of 2 places where we sit
 and squat the most, well, you just earned yourself the title of "The Sisquater".
 For the simple minded,well,you are going to have to learn buddy.]

Wait.This is not complete. There is another part to it.

Sitters and Squatters are most often,a mutually exclusive bunch.
[There is an exception to that rule]

Any which way, if you really had the multitasking capabilities of reading this and
thinking at the same time,why the heck am I reading this,and,why on the planet would
someone write this,you lost that title from above.
You should have got it now.

But the nice hearted guy I am,here it goes.


You are from Rajasthan,aren't you?Words mingled with a dirty look asked me.

That menacing look was the look that Bhajji gave Srisanth,who,in my opinion
were on "non menacing look" terms till they were playing for team India.

Suddenly my friends,who were busy ignoring me through out the trisem (which is
as close to being on pleasant terms ) started giving me the stinker look which Bhajji
had given Sri during the "ModiMakesMoney Premier League".

However,there was no violence in my case.Not for some more time.

On my mildly autistic remark of praising Rajasthan and all things associated with it,
I was abruptly,and quite rudely I must add,given "talk to the hand" gesture.

"Your guys squatting,train delaying,Mommy waiting,Home needing.
These seemingly incomprehensible flinstonish phrases only reinforced my belief that
MBA does turn smart people into incoherent bozos.

It was only after 10 minutes of my expert deduction prowess and tapping my friends head
like Rakhi does to her dead children in Karan Arjun ( to snap them into life ) that I
figured the complete sentence.

Gujjars are squatting on the railway tracks,my train to Bombay is getting delayed and I
need to go home you dolt!

I smiled.

Like that guy who did something and achieved Zen ( was Buddha the last guy to get Zen?)
I started explaining my friend,the Sitter-Squatter philosophy.

I know its so intriguing that you are desperately scrolling down to figure it out.

Didn't I tell you I am a nice guy?Behold...

In our country we have a certain system called Democratic Marketing. No,its not democracy.
It doesn't matter what you studied dear.

It is democratic marketing and its not same as Kotler marketing.

And how.

You don't under promise and over deliver.You overtly over promise,and underly under deliver.

Customer is not the king.Customer is the squatter.Leader is the sitter.

There are no 4 P's here. Its 4 L's.

Lie.
Lie some more.
Lie again.
Lie.

So you see.Leaders lie to a tribe/cast/religion/region while they are standing.
Then they sit.We provide them with chairs.
Then we stand.Ask them for manifestation of lies they told us.And what they do.
They make us squat.

And in that eternal hope that we will share the chair back where we will be a little
more comfortable, we squat.Meanwhile pushing others from whatever state they are in to
this deadly mixture of states.

Denial and Squatting.

Denying that we did a huge mistake while we voted.To use a cliche,we literally voted our
casts instead of casting a vote.Denying the truth that squatting wont help.Denying that
it is only going to hurt more if the whole country squats.

Saddest thing ever.I even faked wiping off a tear drop while explaining this to my friend.

It took some time,vehement Buts and Nooo's from him but he got it.As he turned back,shutting
door on my face ( After all the good thing I do,door is what I get ) I bent my knees and tried squatting.

Tried to feel how my nation feels now,down on knees.

Does that hurt?