why run?

no lofty cause, not for fun
not to check some box, tick off off lists..
I want to run, ergo, I run...

to find myself alive, aware, sane?
push my fears out in the open..
letting those silent cries, a life of their own...
letting those tears through pores instead of eyes... I run

I run, for there seems to be no path,
no set of naïve expectations of others or self
potentialities zilch, only my head pushing me ahead
so I run, not to be perfect, not to improve, not to compete

I run, for there is no reason, for once..
don't have to be somewhere, improve or excel
for once to be thankful for what I got
to step over the pit of despair dug by own demands..

and hence I run...
why?
I run... ergo I run!

manan

when calvin says "becoming an adult is probably the stupidest thing you could do", I couldn't agree more.... but after reading Manan this juxtaposition of 11 words started hurting way more than they should have.
I am 30 and all that goes in my head is what's the next big thing in my life... all these lofty questions about what would  make me better, more productive, better leader and other assorted crap. I don't recall stuff that used to put smile on my face, I don't think about little things that I observed and played with in my head [ like trying to divide ever car or scooters number by 3 till they were not a multiple of 3...walking in tandem with the steps we used to take during school parades and what not]
that's all in the past, observing, talking with someone called me and having a parallel universe is all beyond me... my next gadget, next car, next promotion, next trip is all I care about and even that's not all fun...
So thanks mohit for stirring so much in me and raking up the murky stuff which had settled and hardened.... kudos to you for writing Manan and hopefully we can keep the Manan in us alive... or at least give him a chance to leave the doors of our hearts a lil ajar.
may you see strange places and stranger times :)

warped reflections

running helter-skelter, sweating and scared
falling off in abyss, what the hell!
but there I am, looking normal as usual, ordinary, swell
just the mirror my friend, a little deep with in, that small piece of soul.... bared

eyes are puffy and the mind zombied
gnawing at my dreams, piece by piece
but there I am, oh so happy, so content at peace...
settled, satisfied smug, digging my grave of solace, embalming self... mummified